I can't tell you how many times Barbara has left one of us water bottles at her workplace overnight. We don't mind because the sunsets over the river are gorgeous and the computers have tons of bootlegged movies that we can watch. We hardly ever get thrown away. The cleaning ladies do a great job keeping the floor clean, but when it comes to the tables, Barbara is the only one who clears them off, so pity the water bottles which do not belong to her.
Her de-cluttering began one day when she found notes belonging to another 50+ teacher who left awhile ago. The teacher, who travels with her teenage daughter went to work in Mongolia and then United Arab Emerites. I thought the middle east was supposed to be dangerous??? Maybe I need to stop listening to the media. Barbara deduced that the tables weren't cleared because everyone was too afraid of tossing out something important, so she began doing it herself, once realizing that none of it was important. Often there is left over birthday cake on the table too. Barbara does not mind this, because Vietnam has absolutely the best cake icing! She describes it as biting into a cloud.
Demise of water bottle #3: You dirty rotten monkeys! The school sponsered a fun staff bonding outing to Monkey Island, which ended up being less like fun and more like terrorizing, We bonded alright, because we were grabbing onto each other for protection, especially when the monkeys saw us with food. Pat, a 60+ teacher who is Barbara's best friend here, spotted an ice cream stand on the island and suggested getting one. Well, as soon as the monkeys noticed Barbara's, they began jumping on us to get at it, but she was not going to give up that delicious Vietnamese creamcicle. Unfortunately, that left me unguarded and one of those danged monkeys climbed up and grabbed me. As I was being dragged toward the alligator infested swamp, I saw Barbara fighting off monkeys and exclaiming,"Pat, I'm gonna get you for this!"
Let us introduce ourselves, we are water bottles #7,8 and we want to assure #5 that Barbara did not go thirsty as she was able to pick us up from the company supplied ice chest. We accompanied Barbara on the remainder of the excursion that included a hot pot on the beach, a ferry ride, a dinner at a seafood restaurant, and monkey free ice cream cones back in town. Barbara said that the rest of the trip was one of the best in her life. We're starting to get the idea that she may be a foodie!
Have you ever had a bonding outing go terribly wrong?
I, water bottle #6, am alone am on a Mekong bus with Barbara, headed to Siem Reap, Cambodia. Her 3 month visa ran out so we had to leave the country for a minute. Last night we stayed in Ho Chi Minh City where we caught the bus. The hotel was recommended by a fellow teacher, Pat. Pat investigated the world's teaching opportunities and deemed Vietnam to be the best bang for the buck in wages vs. cost of living. So at 60 years old, she flew to Saigon to take a CELTA class and began her new career as an international English teacher. The CELTA is an intensive 4-6 week class presented by the British Council that results in a teaching certificate recognized by most 2nd and 3rd world countries. The trick is to take the class in the country where you want to teach, because at the end of class, all the local schools are banging down the doors to get to you.
The bus ride has been surprisingly pleasant. One of my buddies was left in Bien Hoa to await our return, and I have a sneaky suspicion that I will not be returning since Barbara is coming back by airline, and you know their policy. This is very sad for me that I must be abandoned in a foreign country. At least my mates get to stay in Vietnam. Listen to the cries as they were lost, one by one.
Water Bottle #3: Noooooo, I was sighed as Barbara accidentally left me at the rice restaurant. I don't know why she even brought me here since they serve iced tea anyway. Oh yeah, that's right. Someone informed her that they do not wash out the glasses after each use, but I say "So what! Let everyone share." I just hope I don't fall onto the floor with all these rats running around!
#4: Barbara promised me a viewing of Star Wars 7 and then she left me on the ticket counter and watched Star Wars without me. What a disappointment. I have been waiting forever for that sequel.
#5: Barbara carried me to her workplace in her backpack, then after her first class, she spotted Pat's bottle, thought it was me, and threw it on top of me. This guy looked exactly like me thus both our fates were sealed. As soon as she opens the backpack and sees us twins, we just know she is going to throw us both out. Oh...... she's seen us! Start praying! Hey, she's not throwing us out. Instead, she left us both full and on top of the counter in the coffee area. Now we call ourselves the twins. We hang out together near the water cooler and the chom choms. We have been here for a long time. No one knows who we belong to so they're hesitant to toss us.
No comments:
Post a Comment